How is it that my writing is always put off by something else…? How is it that I can spend a moment, longer than long, contemplating the keyboard, or starting writing and then erasing, starting writing then erasing, starting writing and then erasing, you get the picture… As if the words would physically hurt me or at least be very mean and tell me off after being written. Then I manage to watch everything from old French movies to all the world’s crappiest romantic comedies (always set in NY where some guy hurts the pretty American and then it rains and they make up and they walk off in the parc, because that is still the story) or Scream 4… Why? The same with books, I probably have 36 books waiting for me, and I AM looking forward to reading them, but something always comes up. Only “something” is just code for my neurotic obsessing with the fact that I have 36 books to read and I should start but maybe I should just check the boots I dig on eBay OR wash up OR watch “Made of Honor” (twice and ashamed) OR wash up again OR why not make a cup of tea OR smoke a cigarette OR call my brother OR tiens pourquoi pas appeller Jean Christopher… Why? See then I tell myself that it’s just because I’m stuck between three languages and that I don’t know if I write better in Danish in French or in English and that I’m going to make mistakes anyway and then I look at other people’s writing and I tell myself “now I’m just gonna’ do it… After this cigarette!” And then I start… And I erase, I start and erase, yes I should stop repeating. And then the self-pitying begins and that’s just where all hope is gone, so I watch another movie just to take the edge of, Patrick Demspey driving really fast, damn it that’s Made of Honor again, it has to stop! At least when I watch Les Misérables, I can kinda’ say it’s like reading Victor Hugo, better than Patrick Dempsey (not putting a comment about his hair, it really has got to stop)! Well I’ll smoke a cigarette and then for sure I’ll find something really interesting to write about, OR… And then I think yea why not write about death or the absence of fear of death or have you ever thought of how easy it would be to jump out just before the tube passes you by and slows down, just that thought of the one tiny movement that could end your life (or at least cut off a limb)… Nah maybe that’s too dark, I’ll leave it hanging and watch another movie, and then definitely I’ll write something superbe!