Choice of choice

Okay so after that last post I started thinking about that whole who has the power thing… See who decides who is in charge… Between men and women I mean not between us and penguins even though that could easily have been the case (maybe there is actually something there for another post…). We like to think we live in a society where women turn into power women, alpha bitches (bitch in the original etymological sense of the word) and cold blooded 10″ heels, leather skirt wearing business wo’men’… (Maybe the leather skirt is over the top but you get the picture) Men on the other hand are allowed and even praised for having a more feminine side, they do yoga, they are aware of how they dress, they take paternity leave, they buy skin care and a man who can’t cook today isn’t a man! Everything is supposedly more equal but just to which extent does that argument holds… Take a common example… Boy and girl meet in bar, they decide to go for a (cheap of course) beer. The week after they do and she takes him home for a night cap aka – well we all know what that means… The guy leaves afterwards because he has an early meeting or whatever and everyone are happy. In this case… Who picked up who…? And who decides? Let’s say the woman already knew she was gonna sleep with the guy; she will therefore state it was her idea. Now this is where it gets interesting because I was gonna write, the guy thinks the same thing only I just realized maybe, probably, even most certainly the guy doesn’t care… Women spend so much time analysing this and that and how and why when the guy will probably go home, be happy he got laid and have a big breakfast the day after (with bacon cause boys eat bacon). He’ll either think it’s hot it was the woman who took charge or he’ll feel like a stud because it was so easy and well because he’s a man… He’ll probably feel both, but he will certainly not think about it anymore than that, oh except for when he tells his friends (wait am I stereotyping too much I can’t decide). Funny cause this was not where I was actually going with this post, and I think the moral of the story just shifted. I’m probably putting things on a stick again, let’s be fair if it is a one night stand then even women wouldn’t analyze because there would obviously be nothing to analyze on… What I was wondering though was… How fine are we actually with the whole women having sex like men thing? Not towards people in our surroundings but to ourselves? (The two of them probably go together… If we judge ourselves we will feel judged by everyone else even if that is not the case) Do we judge ourselves as sluts or are we capable of being just as free and open minded as men? I want to say yes, yes of course we are, and I think that we really are; only I also think it is intriguing to which extent that will be what we think… Are we done judging ourselves or does it still sometimes creep in…? And do we care if other people do judge, cause they do. Maybe that is something we can never really escape caring about. I was obviously writing this from a woman’s point of view and funnily enough before I had shared the idea of this post with anyone else I had a very similar conversation with a friend, a guy who in many ways reminds me of myself. He suggested that men who sleep around will just automatically be written of as twats with no feelings… I can’t decide, maybe we judge them not to judge ourselves…? This is of course strictly one night stand speaking, cause if we drag the whole relationship business into this discussion it becomes way bigger. Maybe it’s easier to blaim the man cause it will make the women look better… Or maybe all that mars venus stuff is just a load of crap. That is actually pretty much a certainty.

Maybe it is not so important to decide who decides who has the power. Maybe the important thing is just to get behind the choices we choose. Not only taking responsibility for our actions but realizing that we always have a choice, not about what we do and how but a choice of choice. The choice of choosing that our choice is our own and that we are behind it. The choice of choosing no judgment, at least not towards ourselves… That is most certainly easier said than done and also everyone wants the power…